I=He?

I feel a little bit awkward writing here and use only I, I, I. Well, ok, it’s true that this is the blog that probably only me will read it but still, I can’t help but feel narcissism. So last night, I had a funny thought that maybe I should change from ‘I’ to ‘he’, so it’d be like writing a character.

‘He’ is going to start now.

Last night he had his first encounter as a special guest in the grand opening for a pretty upscale male skincare. The brand’s name is Task Essential and it’s a product line from Switzerland that his friend is a Brand Manager. At the very first that she contacted him to be one of her guests, he felt hesitating. He replied in quite a sudden that he couldn’t do it because he thought that he was a nobody, not a special one that should represent the product.

Yeah, this is the brand.

One hour and a half later with the promising of the products 10,000 Baht worth , and countless of drinks. He shamelessly agreed to do it.

The event was quite upscale as he expected. It was held at the Grand Sheraton Hotel, Bangkok. Many guests attended since 7 pm including a bunch of his friends and familiar faces. He was a little bit nervous at the beginning. So, as soon as he stepped inside the place, he was ordering drink. The drink was called ‘Woo Woo’, what a crazy name, he thought, but the taste was quite ok so he kept it coming. After 6 or 7 glasses of ‘Woo Woo’, it was time for him to hit the stage. And then everything just went ‘Woo Hoo’, it was quick and he barely remember anything.

Trying to be ’somebody’

Yes, nothing really exciting here. No embarrassing moment in public (which should be). He just went straight home afterward and excite himself with all those products. And to be honest, he barely used them.

Silent Noise

As I said before that I was so proud of this performance. I found some pictures from the show which were shot by Lee-San himself.

The process of shooting was easy. He played the videotape (errrr….10 years ago? we had no DVD at that time) and shot directly at the TV screen. At the time of our performance, for some reasons, we forgot to do a photo call! What a shame. But For me personally, I prefer this way because they look raw and have an ‘indie’ feeling. The first photo was directly from my scene. The second one was from P’Jay’s scene. And the last one, one of my favorite scences of the show, was P’Bow.

And the next photo is my selling shot. I do look like a tiger or….a dog. And it’s not from the makeup like it seems. I think it was from the lighting and the camera angle.

Well, I prefer look like a tiger than a dog, actually. Grrrrrrrrr….

Yearning To Get Back

Although I can call myself as an actor-slash-performer-slash-dancer, I haven’t been on stage for quite a while. More than two years to be exact.

The reasons?

I was quite bored of it. I was bored of never-ending rehearsals (after my day job from 8-11 pm) every single day. I was bored of no matter how much energy you put into the show, the audience numbers never grow. Most of all, I was bored of my life. I thought I’ve spent too much time for theatre and never had a chance to do something else. I thought theatre was one hella good reason that I couldn’t find a (proper) boyfriend.

Two years later without any performances, I am still single.

After my intention to put theatre aside, I spent a lot of time partying. Party, party & partaay. Sure, it’s fun and great. I get to meet lot of new friends. But every time I saw my friends still living their dreams in theatre and kept doing better and better, I got jealous. When I saw them perform, I always imagine what if I am in that play…What would I do? How would I dance? That scene might be better if it had my idea adding into it…etc.

So in fact, I’ve never put theatre aside after all. It’s always with me. It’s one of my passion for more than 12 years. And It always will be.

I should get back to do it soon, really, before I get too old.

Desire can live forever but your body can’t.

Quote, Quote & Quote

“No one is thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you”

“No one is watching you, just go with the flow and enjoy it”

“Never panic. Stop, Breathe, Think”

“Never change haircut or colour before an important event”

“Nothing is either as bad or as good as it seems”

The 4th one is so true. I always do that. It’s right every damn words!

Something I wrote when I’m drunk

I always feel a little bit ‘artistic’ when I’m drunk (but not super drunk). Here’s some silly thing I furiously wrote…….Oh, drama, drama, drama.

One Mistake Led to an Endless Mistake.

It was just a mistake.

He said ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to spread your legs’.

Well, haha, I wanted to laugh my jaw break.

‘Cause all he said, couldn’t compare to what I’ve already hated.

Damn it! I admitted I quite had some fun.

But when it was over, I wondered what I had done.

“Yeah, Yeah, baby, it’s all good, it’s over hun.”

I looked inside my bag, grabbed a gun and smiled when that bastard ran.

So I’m now alone in the dark.

Seeing myself in a mirror, the devil appears behind me and asks;

“How are you doing, son?”

I reply in a sudden, “Look at me, Do I look like I’m having fun?”

“I know you don’t, my son”, he roars.

“That’s why I’m giving you more”


——————————————————————-


That’s it.

It’s a bit like Fiona Apple meets early Alanis Morissette.

Well, except it’s much, much sillier.

Nightmare Fever

Due to the new addiction to my new blog I just created, I’ve been searching for stuff to put on here. I decided to make this blog a collective of my memorable moments, people, places & things. Just in case I turn 60 and can’t remember shit, hopefully I’ll remember this blog and might bring me back home.

Anyway, through my searching, I found this.

“Silent Noise”, a collaboration between Dance Rhizome (Japan) and members of the International Wow Company @ Kad Theatre, Chiang Mai. 1999

This performance really stucks in my memory. It’s a scene from the Butoh performance called ‘Silent Noise’, created by Dance Rhizome’s Ryoiji Oka (Lee) – a well-known Butoh master. It was a collaborative dance piece which each performers would transform their weirdest, scariest nightmares into a dance scene. During the rehearsal stage, it was my first time to encounter such a extraordinary workshop. One of his method was a body contact. You had to lie on other performer’s body and feel each other breath. Trust me, it was very, very uncomfortable but I had a great time and actually really want to work with this group more.

The performance surprisingly turned out to be so great. At first, I had no idea how it would turn out because it was my first time experiencing Butoh dance and we had such a short time rehearsing. But after the show, many people gave us a great comment. Even my acting teacher – Ajarn Jiraporn, said it was one of her greatest experiences in theatre.

Yes, I’m so proud of it.

Live Fast And Die Young

Andrew Vanwyngarden of MGMT

I love his last name and so his music.
Here’s the lyric of one my favorite songs…for now.

Time To Pretend

I’m feeling rough, I’m feeling raw, I’m in the prime of my life.
Let’s make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun.
Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I’ll miss the boredem and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There’s really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we’ll get a divorce
We’ll find some more models, everything must run it’s course.

We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

And here’s the video

And this is their second video “Electric Feel”. There’s an interactive edition of this video which you can alter the background anyway you like. There are 625 to the 229th power different ways the video can turn out. Download the interactive video at: whoismgmt.com/efvideo/

And here’s the live version of Electric Feel on MTV2….Oh my…I’m in Looooooooove!

The First Touch

I started this last night.

Just curious why more and more people have started their own blog.

It’s not just a way to express yourself but, for me, it’s another way to remember things and to freeze the moment.

So here I am.

Wish I could continue my writing.